It was like any other normal Sunday: get up, go to church, come home, and eat lunch. One particular Sunday, however, was different than usual as I did not follow this routine due to this nasty cough that just wouldn’t go away. So as I laid on the couch drinking apple juice, I waved my mom goodbye and then she went. Since my dad didn’t go to church he stayed home and looked after me while my mom was gone.
I was just watching cartoons when it hit me.
By this time my mom was almost home. I was coughing more than usual and it just wouldn’t stop. My dad at that point gave me cough medicine hoping that it would stop. Sadly it didn’t stop. At one point that morning the coughing was so bad I had troubles catching my breath. Thankfully shortly after my mom returned.
My face started turning blue and that’s when she made the decision to call health link. When she was on the phone she started crying as she was being asked lots of questions. She handed the phone to me and the lady wanted me to say “I love you” to my mom. I tried to say the words but I could barely get it out, and then my mom and I both started crying.
While my mom was holding the phone closer to my mouth; the lady on the other line heard me cough and became very concerned. The lady on the other line said “you need to get her to the hospital now”. My mom hung up the phone in a panic, called my aunt right away and told my dad to stay home with my sister. When my aunt got to the house my mom carried me into the van and rushed me to the hospital that was closet, which was Rocky View.
While we were driving to the hospital my coughing seemed to be not as dramatic but the breathing started getting worse. One of the nurses saw me they grabbed me right away, and took me back. They placed me onto a gurney into a big private room. The first thing that they gave me were these two huge black and yellow pills that they wanted me to swallow.
First of all my airway was already swollen and then they wanted a 8 year old girl to swallow pills the size of her pinky.
It took me about 20 tries to get the first pill down and then for the second pill they crushed it up and put it in water for me to drink. After that they took out a big bag full of different inhalers. They made me take a puff of every single one. Afterwards they put a coughing mask on me while we waited for the Children’s Hospital EMS to arrive and transfer me. .
About 20 min later I threw up.
Now that I am thinking back on it, it’s probably all the medicine that they gave me. They had to change my gown 3 times because I felt so sick. When the ambulance came there were these two very nice EMS workers that came and gave me a stuffed moose for my ride to the hospital. My aunt was not allowed to ride with us, my mother and I, so she took my mother’s van to meet us there.When we got to the hospital I was in my own private room and there they took a pee sample and my bloodwork. Following that they put an IV in my arm and an oxygen tubes on my face.
The following day I was supposed to get my test results until they informed me that they had lost them. However they were pretty sure that my diagnosis was H1N1. Since they thought I had H1N1 they wanted to treat with procedures for that illness They gave me all different types of medication and an hourly inhaler. In the middle of the night I was woken up by nurses who gave me my inhaler. I stayed there for 3 days while by breathing calmed. Whenever it would spike, the machine beside me would go off and wake up everyone; I then would have to take deep breaths. The day I got to go home was a miracle, because I have never been so afraid of dying in my life.
The pain I had experienced over the days was truly excruciating.
When I was discharged they sent me to get my flu shot I then went home and finally smelled something other than hospital. My dad and sister had bought me a hole bunch of stuff from the dollar store that I have always wanted and it really made me feel like I was welcomed home.
And by the light of God I was home by Christmas
Dear Felicity,
How absolutely entrancing this was! The whole time I was reading it I felt as though I couldn’t take a good deep breath. You had me pinning to know what would happen next, keeping steadily on the edge of my seat. This is a story of greatness, you have achieved one of the greatest things any writer may very claim to have, bring able to hook an audience. Your shorter direct sentences added to the quick pace of the piece, this is quite possibly the reason I was holding my breath, I was to focused on knowing what would happen next that I forgot to breathe.i also enjoyed how you cut out any non-essential information, by cutting straight to “20 minutes latter I threw up “, you continue the smooth flow without droning on about details that lose your audience. Oh! I am so absolutely grateful I clicked on to your blog by chance ,this was a wild adventure of its own.A wonderful experience that I am glad I shared with you !
Every wonderful piece can always be slightly altered to please the reader. The only thing I would ask for is to watch for some spelling and grammatical errors. They were very minor, but can sometime lead to disconnecting the audience at pivotal turns in the story .
Thank you so much for this wonderful piece and the glimpse you have given me into one day of you life!
Yours Truly,
Paromitha
Dear Felicity,
Wow! This piece was such a powerful read overall. Right from your title, I was automatically so engaged with all the suspense and how dramatic this incident was. I’m glad that you were able to recover from this agonizing experience.
In terms of things to improve on, I would suggest going through your anecdote and correcting any punctuation, adding and removing the ones necessary.
Other than that, I really loved your piece and hope to read more of your work in the future. Good job!
Sincerely,
Maira